One day a friend of mine gave me a gift. However, the extent of that gift was not clear to me until many, many months after. She had given me two lovely rocks (a piece of quartz and a fairy stone)...at least that's all I thought of them until recently.
Because she gave me that gift I felt the need to repay her. As I had talked about in my previous posts, I had started drawing again...and really enjoying it this time. I thought creating something special for her would be the perfect way to repay her for her kindness. It was in my thoughts about what to create for her that a seed was planted to something I hadn't expected.
The night I created her drawing I was more focused than ever. Time slipped away from me and I was immersed in my actions. As an artist (fine art, musician, writer, or any other type of creative) it is a long and hard road to finding your voice. Some find it at a young age but, for people like me, it feels illusive for a very long time. So you see, my friend's gift goes so much further than two lovely rocks. Her gift brought me my voice...led me to my spark. The spark that made me forget time. The spark that manifested something out of nothing. The spark that was illusive for so damn long.
That brings me today. Today is a scary-exciting-sad-confident-doubtful-hopeful-wavering-certain kind of day. Today is my last day as a full-time contractor for NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory. I will be returning to my roots with Chandra and just continue on with my duties as an illustrator (5% of my job) while stepping away from the many other duties I have (95%).
"What will you do, Melissa?", you ask. Well...remember that spark I mentioned just a minute ago. I'm going to try to turn that into a fire. Turn it into a full-on fucking blaze! I'm going to put pen to paper/wood/glass/concrete/all the flat surfaces (and some not-so-flat) and focus on art. Focus on the gift my wonderful friend gave me.
So today I am scared-excited-sad-confident-doubtful-hopeful-wavering-certain. I am all the emotions because today is an emotional day. One where I am stepping into unknown territory. One where I get to focus on something that truly brings me joy. One where everything will change. And, for now, all I can do is hope that this change is for the better...and work my ass off.
Have you taken this kind of leap too?? Please say yes and then give me all the details how you made it work or road blocks you encountered so this doesn't all seem quite as scary! Or have you thought about it and are having a hard time pulling the trigger on making that change? It took me YEARS to get here. I will totally sympathize and give you virtual hugs.